Painful Smiles, Dog Tears, and Fupa Giggles

Jesus sandtrap I'm so sorry my children. I have been SO busy. I haven't had anytime to copy/paste my random thoughts of awesomeness on this HTML website. Boo for you :(

Last weekend was the shit. As in, incredible, amazing, and even super duper. I went on a trip. I can't get into details but it was a mix of acid and disney world.

Ok the details.

Me and my gang left the morning of Friday, 2008. We packed our guns, missle launchers, and those rad net guns as well. We were hunting dinosaurs. Actually fuck that, Dinosaurs don't even live in the United States. Duh. We took that stuff for protection. Where we were going was pretty epic and we just had to be safe.

The trip there was ok. I destroyed a bottle of vodka, rum, and a wine cooler for good measures on the way. My pal whos name isn't important at this time wouldn't stop handing me bottles. I was forced to drink them. I almost pulled over and said enough was enough. However, I'm a good driver and that wouldn't have been safe. Pulling over on the side of the highway is never the smart thing to do.

When we arrived to our destination I was tired. Really tired. We had dinner with some pimps down the street. They had the HIV :( It was cool though, I made him drink from the table behind us. So all is well. I passed out next to an alley and cried myself to sleep. I'm not sure why, I just saw it on a movie and thought it would be pretty epic. It was.

The next day my gang went to the zoo. Boy was that that shit. Zoo = win. Zoo = orgasm in the face. Zoo = Oreo+milk+more milk. GOD I love the zoo. We saw....well, we saw alot of animals. I threw a baby in the gorilla pit. Actually, I didn't but BOY DID I WANT TO. Sorry, the urge was there but I controlled myself. Thank god. Those gorillas would have loved me after that. I didn't want to get attached since I was leaving soon. Oh right, poor baby too... whatever...

After the zoo I blacked out.

It was a fun trip. The plastic tree men didn't eat me this time. The last time I had a trip like that I was fighting plastic tree men for hours. It totally fucked up my trip. One time I drove in a straight line for eight hours. Boring as fuck.

Orange tic tacs. MMM did you know they're orange, and taste like tic tacs that are orange? Yeah I know, blew me away too. I had no idea. Seriously though these sluts are some win in my mouth. Probably better then that borderline gay dream I had the other night.... I mean.... Pizza! Fuck I love pizza.

All men should have a box of crayons. It's pretty epic when you can draw anything you want in basically any color your little heart desires(I got the 64 pack so I rock). You can even keep it in your man bag and color whenever you want. Awesome right? Right.

Well I have failed. I was going to write all night but I think my water broke. I'm going to go clean up and abort this fool. lolbbq jk. He's not a fool, and aborting isn't that fun.

Wish me luck!