^^^ That's my mind. It's very chaotic, yet beautiful in it's own way.
laijsfl;HLUIADF
^^^ That's a wtf moment.
As you can see, I'm not human.
Today I witnessed something incredible. I believe it was a mix of a beat down, rape, burglary, and incest. It was pretty fruiting nuts. First I was minding my own business and this pickup truck goes flying past me. Obviously on crack, or acid. She yields for oncoming traffic like a good girl. I then started thinking about what I would do to her vehicle if she hit mine, assuming I didn't have a broken neck. I would get a bat, and my fist. Both are very deadly weapons. Then something magical happened. Another car followed was behind Ms. pickup truck and decided to get out of the car with a bat. The passanger decided to use his fist on the passanger in the truck. What just happened you asked? I'll tell you!
I now have the ability to change the future. Anything I think about WILL happen. Fuck yes. I'm like harry potter but more adorable, 20/20 vision, and I don't post nudes with me and a horse on the interwebs. I seriously thought I had powers today, and I do. Don't fuck with me! Want a sunflower seed rubbed in your eye? Want Cashew's jammed up your nose? be careful friends! I have it all. I'll stop to nothing to get what I want. It WILL happen, one day McLame will give up. One day.
Actually I witnessed road rage. A car really did do that, and the face on the guy with the bat was priceless. It was a face a guy with a bat would have. Very cool. I wanted to wave and give him a hug, but he seemed busy. You know, hitting cars, and faces on the street. I didn't want to bother him. I just wanted to know what happened? Then I had a vision. Kind of like that show on the disney channel only I'm not black, and my visions are actually fairly accurate from what really happened.
You see, the car was at Sonic. It's a great place. I love Sonic, don't fuck with Sonic!.. They ordered food I'm guessing, possibly a drink and were chilling in their car in the parking lot. Well pick up truck doods were like "Wtf". Why on earth would people at Sonic order food and a drink? Blasphemy!!!1!!1!!111111!!! Seriously, who the fuck does that? Rednecks. So yeah, Pickup truck doods decided they weren't going to be part of that crap. Not in this city! I'm not sure what they did but it probably was combination of a cucumber, salad dressing, Crayons, Miracle whip, and a bandana. I know right? HARDCORE.
The pickup truck then decided to gtfo. I would too if I totally owned someone with a combination of a cucumber, salad dressing, Crayons, Miracle Whip, and a bandana. Off they went. Well, the car doods weren't just going to sit there and take the combination of a cucumber, salad dressing, Crayons, Miracle Whip, and a bandana. Who would? Only McLame would because he's a failure at life. That's not the point. The car doods finally caught up with the truck doods and did their deeds. That's what happened. DON'T QUESTION ME.
I read "retards" are boycotting the movie "tropic thunder" because of some comments made by either the cast, or something in the movie. I haven't seen it because I'm a poor ninja but I find that funny. Mostly because I had NO idea "retards" could read. Ok that was mean. I'm sorry, I'm really not that mean in person. I just had to say that. It was on my chest and I had to let it out. Like a fart, but on my chest...and very rude. Mentally challanged have it hard in this life. They're just people too like us right? I'm sure some blog, or go to the movies, or read books, or brush their teef, or even color inside the lines. The possibilities are endless.
Hi, aren't I incredible? Gay? No. Sorry. :( :( :[
Really though, I'm really cocky this week. I just feel so good about myself. That's healthy right? I did replace every dollar bill I owned with my face on it. I hope they still accept my seven dollars and 25 cents. Who wouldn't with such a cute creature on them? McLame, that's who. He HATES me.
Please ladies, and gentlemen by the name of Chris. Don't message me for my number, or how much pain I can tolerate before passing out. That's rude. I'm happily with someone right now, and she's the win. Probably much coolar than you. Sorry, don't take that personal. It's just the whole you being on the internet that bothers me. You could be a 60 year old man named Tom that runs a "daycare" in his backyard. Yeah, whatever Tom. So please, leave me alone. I get thousands of emails as it is. My good looks are for good, not evil. :(
I hate one thing on this earth, and it's not McLame today. It's smelly people. Fuck them. Seriously. Well, don't. Please. Use protection if you do :( :( Forget I said that. But really, WTF. Do they not look in the mirror and see they haven't shaved in weeks? Maybe the fact that they haven't done laundry in about a month and have worn the same thing for three weeks because all they do is play world of borecraft in their room all day? If that was me, the thousands of dots aka dandruff would be a sign to um.... take a shower. That's just me though, I'm awesome. When you smell someone before you see them...You know it's a problem. What's really gross is they probably don't smell themselves. That's worse than 2girls1cup + a shower of warm milk that came from Erica the hair dressers.... pet goat. Who has aids, and is a recovering alchoholic that loved knitting. Which by the way is an EPIC hobby.
So yeah. I bring this up because I was stealing money from the governments (Financial Aid) and the guy infront of me was epicly gross. It was bad. I found the little AND big dipper on his shirt :( Don't ask what the stars were. It wasn't as fun as real stars, real stars don't move :( :(
Why is college so freakin expensive anyways? I like how the government hands out pale grants like Cheerleaders hand out jaw dropping feats at nationals. Like, if it wasn't for pale I would be FUCKED. HARD. I don't know who pale is but I would SO kiss that fucker right now. Still, why is college so much? Who the fuck cares if you went to a college that was 40k a year? Sweet. You're rich, well you were. Is the education really that much better compared to a much cheaper college? Not by much. Yeah, the professors probably know their shit, but that still doesn't justify the cost. College should be free, maybe an increase in tax, or shutting down some strip clubs so the professors can still be paid big bucks. Don't teachers do it for the kids and not the money though? Hmmm I love society.
Think of all the money that COULD be going to other causes. Africa, Katrina, Georgia... they all could use that 3k tuition money Mr.Pale GIVES me. Wtf? Now that I think about it, I could kick Pale in the balls for being such a douche waffle. Thanks, you're helping students expand their minds. While giving a shit less about people dying, living on nothing, having to sleep under a bridge... Weeew you fucking ROCK Pale. You should get some kind of award, or scholorship named after you. Oh wait...
This is why the government is fucked. They need to budget better. Noobs.
Red Diamond Iced tea is incred. It really is. Gallon of pure amazingness. Kind of like me, only I come in four quarts. SUCK IT GALLON. I could drink this forever and ever. After a marathon, the one hundred meter dash, running from a cheetah, forget water. I want Red Diamond Iced tea bitch. Don't fuck with me. Don't come between me and Red D. I had a dream someone stabbed me in my neck and instead of blood it was Red D... Of course I drank from my wound. Are you kidding me? Don't even question my love for the Red D. Pshh. Then I started floating on newspaper and talking to some old guy named tom, who invited me to attend his daycare.... fuck that was a weird ass dream.
RAWR eyes burning. I should soak these 20-20's in Red Diamond Iced Tea. That's such a good idea. Hmm I'm getting thursty just thinking about it, or horny... I get those mixed up. :( :(
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