Microphone Smiles, Cat Tears, and Smurf Giggles

I wish I wasn't so amazing. Kind of how a guy is confused (and probably ugly) and doesn't want a penis. So he grows up being a goth kid and one day has the thing cut off by an underground illegal doctor. Which turns out to just be some prostitute he met on 4th and main street. Giving him an infection in his newly, deformed vagina. Which now looks like a stab wound that hasn't healed in six months. THEN after all that the confused (and probably ugly) guy realizes he should have just kept his penis in the long run. So I guess I should stay amazing.

I believe the shower is one of, if not the greatest place to be on earth. Nothing beats a warm shower that feels like soft warm blankets being thrown at you. You could just fall asleep standing up. Where else can you fall asleep standing up? Oh, at a Jonas Brothers Concert. That's not the point though. I would have to give credit to my wonderful showers to my body. It's very nice. It's eye candy that I can touch, and eat if I was stranded on an island. What's also incredible is my shampoo and conditioner. They keep me loving life. My shampoo is the best shampoo on this planet. It makes my hair a happy camper. It also makes it feel quite nice. The smell is just out of this world. It gives my nose an orgasm. If my nose could erect, it would. Being shampoo, the scent is transfered via my hair into other peoples noses. Which gives everyone I walk past a nose orgasm. I should be a super hero with those kind of powers.

Why does stale popcorn feel so weird? The texture gives me the chills when you squeeze one. They have an odd popcorn smell to them. It's just overall nothing I want to be near. I haven't ate a piece yet. Hold on...................................Ok yeah stale popcorn it's that great for your taste buds. You have to chew way too much. The effort isn't worth the profit. I'm going to go throw this bag away now.

I'm addicted to inscent. I have been for almost a year now. It's becoming a problem I think. I don't eat, or sleep and I can't hold a job for the life of me. I hallucinate when I haven't sniffed yummy rose scent. I even have seizures. I even call my cocaine inscent, WHATS WRONG WITH ME?!!
As some of you know, I'm never really serious on this. However I think I need to calm down for a second and get something off my chest.

I want to have surgery to become a kangaroo. I think it's called Kangaroo surgery. I have had a love for these doods for along time. Ever since I started using aussie shampoo. I would see their logo every morning, and sometimes I would take a shower just to look at my shampoo bottle. I'm addicted. Just the other day I pulled over and gave one that was on the side of the road a proper burial. I mean, yeah it was a dumb squirrel, but who cares? I saw a kangaroo within that gut bursted squirrel. I had to do something. It also only had one eye. Sometimes I jump to my car like a kangaroo. It's also only happened once, and bees were chasing me. I wasn't really jumping now that I think about it. It was more screaming, running, and ducking all at the same time. It's always been a dream of mine to become a new animal. I'm sending my story to Oprah, Tbanks, and ellen for hopes my dream will come true. Wish me luck.

Short blog is short.