Finals are basically over. I have one Tuesday of next week. It's going to rock my world. In a good way. I hope its an essay. I want to write about my imaginary friend Larry. He's imaginary. Me and him are going to chill tomorrow. Just me and him, because it's my birthday. I'll be 85. I can't have cake because of my age. I can however have ICECREAM! So I'm thinking about buying a two gallon tub of chocolate goodness for Larry and I. We're going to play sorry, and checkers. Then my favorite game twister, only not naked like I enjoy oh so much. Larry is a guy and it would just be weird.
Last week I washed my car after my encounter with a bird. I think his name was Ivan. Anyways, one day after washing my car I heard it. It happened so gracefully. The sound echoed in my ear canal. The ringing sensation made me blush bright red. The hairs on the back of my neck stimulated. Goose bumps on my arms spreading like chicken pox. What happened you ask? Oh, just a BIRD SHIT ON MY CAR. I knew it happened. I didn't see it happen, but I heard it. I have hears like a cat. I was ticked off, that carwash was around five dollars. I wasn't happy about that either, but now this? Five dollars to waste. I could have bought five things from the dollar store.
I know, it doesn't look like much. I licked most of it off in anger. Ok no, I didn't lick some of it off. Thats just gross. Ugh. I do drive about 400 miles an hour, blindfolded, and with one hand so by the time I got home most of it blew off.
Then I saw her. The most beautiful person I had ever seen in my life appearing in the corner of my eye. Her legs were just phenomenal. Chest wasn't too big, but wasn't too small. It was perfect. Her hair waving to me with every pass of wind. Actually replace her with his/him. No I'm not gay ( sorry guys ) I'm talking about my reflection. Yes, my reflection is beautiful. I recommend every look at your reflection and just gasp at how beautiful you are. It's a beautiful thing.
Why must Larry be so selfish? He's insisting on working out with me. I told him no, it wasn't going to happen. I sweat alot and when my abs are going up and down it's like river. He said he would wear a scuba suit so I guess its ok. He's such a light weight.
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